Equilibrium

As is obvious from the time of this post, I'm in the midst of a very bad sleep schedule. I woke up at 4pm today (well, yesterday now). My dinner was my breakfast. Past attempts to get into a normal, school-appropriate sleep schedule were ultimately fruitless. I just have this terrible tendency to stay up way later than I should, except it's gotten to a point where it's a little out of control. I need to find some discipline. There are things I want to do during the day! I'd at least like to be able to make it to a bank on a Saturday.

I'm working on finding a balance in my life right now - between school life and private life, between daytime and nighttime, between school work and leisure time. I only have 2 classes this quarter, and only go out to campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so there are 5 days of the week that tempt me with complacency. Sam says I should go out to the library on some of those days, so I can actually get some work done, but it seems like a waste of time and gas to go out to the library, come home for lunch, go back out to the library, then back home. And I'm just as distracted elsewhere if I have my netbook with me. But I need my computer for my work. Oh, the dilemma.

I have my first comprehensive exam for my MA this coming Wednesday, and I don't think it's hit me yet. I really need to review, so I'm dedicating the next couple days to studying for the exam. I'm fairly confident that I'll at least do decently well, but I need to make sure I have all the details straight in my head. At this point, I just want it over with. It's become a sort of checkpoint for me - I can move on after it's over. I'd like to clean up around the apartment a bit, and get back into the habit of cooking dinner. I want to try studying at the dinner table again, since I think sitting at a table instead of on the couch gives me a sense of "study time". I want to start exercising so I can be a little fitter by the time my graduation and my brother's wedding come around. But I feel like I can't get any of that started until after my first exam. I'll be so glad when it's over! There's the second exam to worry about, of course, but at least I can start working on that and fit it into a schedule, rather than constantly concentrating on only one thing.

My skin has been doing a lot better recently. *knocks on wood* I think it's a combination of oatmeal baths, lots of hydrocortisone cream, and a relative end to winter dryness. I need to find a balance there too, since it's easy to think "Oh, I don't have to put on all those medications tonight" when I'm tired and it's late (even for me!). And while it's true that I don't have to work so hard at it, I still need to make sure my condition is properly maintained. I need to figure out what I can skip and how often, so I don't undo the progress I've done. I think having a better sleep schedule will help with that too, since I'll be better rested from regular sleep patterns.

I think my only other concern right now is how much Sam will be gone over the next two months. He's gonna be away 2 weeks each month for April and May. He says it'll be good for me to have him out of the way, since he can be kinda distracting sometimes. And I think it'll be good for him to hang out with friends and family for a while and have stuff to do other than read and do stuff on the computer. But I get kind of depressed when he's away. He calms me and gives me reason to work harder. And it's been a while since he's been away like this. Even longer since I've had to be on my own while he was away. We had Powder last time, and it was nice that I wasn't completely alone all the time. I plan on hanging out with friends from time to time while he's away, but it's not the same as having someone to come home to. I know he'll feel bad when he reads this, but I'm kinda dreading those days when he'll be on his trips. Sorry, honey. At least I'll get a lot of knitting done, I guess.

Erm... no conclusion to this post. Just the running theme, I guess.