Shopaholic Frugality

Yesterday, I spent a good part of the day with a good friend from school. We went to the nearby outlets to hang out and do some shopping. Mine was more of the "window" variety of shopping, but it was fun all the same. I felt a little bad that I wasn't buying anything, but also felt good about putting myself out there and being social for once. I think it's a little strange that it seems to be girl-shopping etiquette for everyone involved to be buying things, but I guess there's a sense of camaraderie in trying things on, commenting on how things look on each other, and being a little frivolous. Sometimes I feel like some sort of guy/girl shopping hybrid - I look at things and comment, but I rarely buy anything or even try things on. I mostly go along for the company, because it's fun to spend long hours with someone I normally don't see too often.

I'm a frugal person by nature, but I find that conflicts with the mild shopaholic in me. I think most girls are shopaholics, and feel a boost or a lift from spending money on new things. There's a little rush when you indulge a random whim and buy something that you don't need, but want in a single moment. However, coming from a family that often struggled to get by, and being in a situation where income is limited, I usually can't spend my money as freely as I'd like. Maybe it's strange for a girl, but I don't like trying things on when I know I can't buy them. I think it's a tease. Like, "I like this shirt, and now I know it looks great on me. Now I love it, but can't have it." People have explained to me that trying on things that you can't afford is part of the fun of "window shopping", but I don't really get that. Isn't that a little masochistic? It seems to me that it would open up a veritable jack-in-the box full of excuses and reasons why you should buy that thing that just a moment ago you knew you shouldn't buy. I know myself, and I know that I obsess about things that I want. I went to a Nintendo Wii tracker for months and months before I finally convinced myself that I somehow needed it, and therefore must get it, even if I had to buy it on credit. Don't get me wrong - I love the Wii. But afterwards, I felt a little guilty, because I knew I just bought something I shouldn't have. I know, if given the chance, I could quite easily be a bit of a shopaholic, so I have to set boundaries for myself.

Sometimes, though, it's the frugal part of me that makes shopping difficult. Sometimes I get money for Christmas or my birthday, and since it's a gift, it should be spent on something fun. That's when you're supposed to buy something frivolous. I've mentioned this before, but there are times when that's difficult for me. The Ebeneezer Scrooge in me says, "Don't spend it on clothes. Don't spend it on shoes. Don't spend it on yarn. Save it for next month's bills. Put it towards groceries. Go get an oil change." And bills and groceries and oil changes are all very important, but I think people do need to be frivolous once in a while. Especially with gift money. And I shouldn't feel guilty about that, especially when I'm usually pretty good about being responsible with my money. I'm over it now, but when my parents sent me $100 for my birthday, I felt a little bad about spending it on yarn and more knitting needles. But it was meant for fun stuff. And yarn and needles are fun, and would eventually make lovely little useful items. I can't spend all my money only on bills and groceries. I'd go crazy. I think it all comes back to having a healthy relationship with money. Like with anything, frivolous spending in moderation is a good thing.

I need to keep the shopaholic in me in check, but I also need to keep the miser in me in check too. I shouldn't over-think every purchase I make, but I shouldn't not think about my purchases either. I'm working at finding a balance between the two, and I think that once I do, I'll begin enjoying the money I earn a lot more.