Getting My Groove Back

I seem to be hobby-hopping.

First baking, then crocheting/knitting (not that I started that yet), now writing. Writing isn't really a hobby of mine so much as a passion-in-progress, but I figure that if all you write is fanfiction, it's still a hobby.

I haven't really written anything creatively in a long while. Not since I graduated college nearly 4 years ago, actually. And this is supposed to be my dream career? A writer's block of that magnitude is really jarring. It takes me completely out of my element. Even when I wanted to write, I didn't know what to write, so I never actually sat down to write anything until recently. I started some fanfictions about a year ago, and really had to force the words out of me, but haven't actually finished one until now. There always seemed to be too much to do, too many distractions, and not enough inspiration.

This week, I just finished one fanfic - about 35 pages. It was already over halfway done when I picked it up again, and had just been sitting in my computer for a year before I started writing it again. I'm not really sure what possessed me to pick it up again. I think it was because I was reading stories on FanFiction.net and thought to myself, "I could write better than this," and "Wouldn't it be an interesting story if..." So I posted my unfinished story, and people loved it! The reviews I received were all very encouraging. So I wrote more. And I finished it! I don't feel like it's my best work, but I'm still very proud of it.

So my writing is strained and sometimes it's really like pulling teeth out of myself to get the right words on the page. But I'm trying to plug away at it, and - little by little - write more and more. The more I write, the more natural it will feel again, right? So, maybe after writing so much, I'll finally start writing my own stories, and not ones based off of a TV show or manga. And that would be wonderful! I have so many ideas that have been bouncing around in my head, but never felt I could do justice to them with how difficult and strained my writing had become. Hopefully, I can develop one eventually into the novel I've always dreamed of writing.

In a short spot of other news, I've finally sent in all my grad school application materials! Now I just sit back and wait. Not to say my work is truly over. I have to study Japanese, so I can regain some of the fluency and literacy I lost. And after the New Year, I have to submit the FAFSA so I can get financial aid. And I should really look for more scholarships and apply to them. Yup, still lots to do, but at least the biggest part is over.